Agreements
by weelollo
Summary: Angela Saddleton is dying, but someone wants to make sure she's not going to drift off too far...


Angela Saddleton was about to die.

"The little bugger", as she used to call it (actually it was what you'd normally call a tumour, situated inside her stomach) had become larger, and the doctors at Springsley hospital had told her to prepare.

'Prepare for what?', she had said trying to make a joke, but Dr. Z. Astoria didn't get it. She looked straight at Angela and said 'Death, Miss Saddleton. I'm so sorry'.

Angela had gone home to her bed to prepare, but she hadn't really got the hang of it yet.

This particular tuesday in may, she was wondering towards the bed with a big cup og red Rooibos tea in her hands. Actually, she could have had black coffee with tons of sugar and the fattest milk there is, just for the sake of it. She was goin to die anyway.

But again, she hadn't really got the hang of the whole dying business.

Angela liked her healthy Rooibos tea, end of story.

She did try buying loads of chocolate bars, just because it didn't matter if she got fat, but almost all of them were still in the supermarket plastic bag. Just one bar of something called Tally-ho was lying beside the bed in the chair. She had tasted it.

The Rooibos tea tasted as it used to taste, and Angela was just getting used to the thought of her soon not being able to drink it anymore. A great pain hit her somewhere in the centre of her weakened body.

'So, this is it', she thought as she sort of fell to the floor, Rooibos all over the place.

ER. I JUST WANTED TO...HAVE A CHAT...FIRST

Angela scratched herself inside her left ear. This dying thing must include hearing voices, she assumed.

NO. IT'S NOT YOU EAR. LOOK

Angela felt like looking at her former cup of Rooibos, and what'd happened whas that it was back to normal again. No tea on the carpet, no cracked china.

'How did you do that?', she felt like saying to no one.

HEY, I'M NOT NO ONE, AND I JUST DID IT

'You're just a voice inside my head', Angela said. 'I'm startin to think that it's a part of dying.'

IT'S NOT. ER. I MEAN, IT IS, BUT I'M NOT INSIDE YOUR HEAD. I'M..COR. WHERE AM I

Death went silent. He just sort of didn't know himself.

Angela put her head back against the floor.

'Am I dead yet? I'm just not good at preparing.'

ER NO. I'M JUST STALLIN' YOU FOR A MOMENT

'Wait, who are you again?'

DEATH,

Death answered, at exactly the same time as Angela coughed. Her stomach didn't hurt.

'Sorry?'

DEATH

'Oh... Is that so...'

YOU DON'T WANT TO BECOME A PUPPY OR A SUN FLOWER, DO YE

'Er. No...what?'

NO REASON. JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE

'So, death', Angela giggled. She rolled her eyes, remembering some old swedish film with death in the form of a man coming to get this guy who's about to die but plays chess with him first on a cliff.

'Are you here to fetch me?'

YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN THE UPSTAIRS OR THE DOWNSTAIRS IN PARTICULAR DO YE

'What?'

YOU DON'T THINK YOU'RE GOING TO THAT PLACE WHERE SOME WING-SANDALED GUY WILL FEED YOU WITH WINE AND GRAPES

'Heaven? God no'.

OH THAT PEANUT AGAIN

'Who?'

GOD. YOU MENTIONED HIS NAME JUST THERE

'Did I now? Well, death, no I don't believe in the Bible.'

HAH! THAT'S WHAT I SAID! AND THAT BOY OWE ME FIVE POUNDS

It went quiet.

ER. SORRY

Angela looked relaxed. She found this part of the dying process quite amusing.

It makes you go crazy in the head alright, this cancer thing, she thought.

Death though, looked somewhat puzzled. She didn't take him seriously at all.

he made her cup of tea crack again, and the carpet was once again wet.

Angela didn't even look like she noticed.

As the bits of porclain sighed and crawled back together, Death straightened up. It was time to get down to business.

ARE YOU GOING TO LISTEN TO MY...ER...AGREEMENT

Angela yawned.

'It's not a proper agreement until both parts...'

NO REINCARNATIONS AS SUN FLOWERS OR PUPPIES LEADS TO A CHOICE BETWEEN THE TWO CHRISTIAN POLES OF WHATEVER. YOU BEING NON-CHRISTIAN LEADS TO A CHOICE BETWEEN.. ER. NO CHOICE. GOOD, ALL SET THEN

'So, Angela tried. What's left? Some kind of "normal" death? And what's that then...death.

Death had prepared what to say for seventy eight hours and thirteen minutes, but he sort of froze, looking at Angelas pale face.

For the first time, Angela sort of saw Death as well. Or at least she looked in his direction.

'I can actually see you know. I'm dying alrite...'

She had becom more serious, Death thought.

Time to drop it.

I SORT OF WANTED YOU TO STAY WITH ME

-----------------------

This was by for Death's longest line ever.


End file.
